Developed by Laura Whitworth, "The Bigger Game" is a revolutionary new system that addresses
the crisis of leadership in the world. It's a model for personal growth,
leadership development, and social change that proclaims that everyone is a leader. It's our part of the solution which is designed to empower you to create your part of the solution.
We believe that you have a
vision
for a better world, and that you have something extremely valuable to
contribute--even beyond what you might currently realize. Were you
given the proper opportunity,
resources, training, guidance and support, you could lead people in
realizing
your vision, transforming the situation around you in the process. We
also believe
that this would be one of the most thrilling, growthful, passionate and
meaningful
experiences of your life.
The Bigger Game is our answer for how you
can step into the leader that lives inside you, in order to be part of the
solution in a larger way than ever before. If you're still reading, we assume
that you want this. In fact, we're betting that you more than want
this. You may feel called toward something,
without even knowing exactly what it is that's calling you. Perhaps
you know that within you lives a deep yearning to live in a new and
better world, and a
passion for having at least a portion of your life be about creating
that new and better world.
We want that world, too, and we want to give you everything you need
to
have that life of passionate purpose as you create the highest social
change
you can envision. We need you, and the world needs you! Empowering
you to bring your vision and gifts to the world in powerful new ways is
what The Bigger Game model is about.
At the heart of The Bigger Game model is the premise that humans crave more meaningful and
growthful lives, and that the life of the greatest happiness, purpose, passion
and personal evolution comes from surpassing significant challenges in service of something greater than oneself.
Yet,
perhaps surprisingly, our research has shown that the completely natural (and at times very useful)
human tendencies toward comfort and self focus can lead people to lives
of boredom, personal stagnation, and even decay or devolution.
You might ask, "Why bother?" or "Is all that really worth it?"
How did it affect your thoughts and feelings to consider those
questions?
Did you feel a strong reaction, or do you already have a response to
one or more of these questions? (If so, you might already have an
inkling of a
Bigger Game. You might be ready to evolve yourself or to step into a
role of greater leadership.) Did you quit reading the questions
part-way through, or only skim them, because they were just too big to
think about? That's fine, too.
Actually, if you're on the right track, it's likely
that considering these things may not
feel altogether pleasant to you. You might be thinking, "Yeah, right." "No
way." "Too big!" "Too hard!" "Not possible!" "Who me?" "You've got to be kidding!" "How?"
If not, dream bigger: Increase the impact you envision by a thousand. When you start feeling the "I'm-scared-to-even-think-about-attempting-that" gulp, you're in exactly the right place. That's because the person you are at this moment cannot achieve your Bigger Game. This is where most people stop. They feel that "gulp," start hearing the voice of the inner critic, and they back away...turning instead to something more comfortable or pleasant.
Falling into "the trap of How?" and/or shying away from the
uneasy gulp that's produced when we dream big like this are two of the
most prevalent ways that dreams of this magnitude are sabotaged. The
gulp and "not knowing how" dissipate the passion of our visions. What
if Martin Luther King had
given in to these feelings and put his dream aside, choosing instead to
sit down with some chips and beer to watch the ball game...? In truth,
he probably didn't know how to give the "I have a dream" speech in the way he did, until
he was doing it. (When he stepped up to speak that day, he deviated far and
often from the written speech he had prepared previously.)
Who do you know that you wish were leading
the world in a large way like this? Why isn't the world receiving that
person's gifts in the manner you wish we were? How many people look at
you and wish the same thing...that the world were receiving your message or unique
gifts in a much larger way?
What has it cost humanity, over the generations, to back away from this "gulp"? How many dreams have died because someone stopped when they didn't know how to create what they envisioned? How many more dreams have been on the shelf in the closet collecting dust for the past 10 years? What could our species have evolved to by now, had the majority of people stepped forward, through these uncomfortable feelings, trusting that the answer to "How?" often comes only after one commits to a purpose (and not before)?
What could our species evolve to tomorrow if we had a way to embrace
or overcome these common hindrances? If the gifted visionaries we all
know were no longer inhibited from taking truly bold actions toward their
heart-felt aspirations
to serve a higher purpose with their lives? If the world were to
acquire and utilize this competency today, how many of those
statistics in the previous chapter will read in reverse in a few
years--shocking us, instead, with how rapidly we were improving the social and
environmental fabric of this planet?
The book in your hands is meant to re-connect you and others like you with your passionate vision for a better organization, community, society, and planet. It's also meant to supply a tried-and-true method for developing the competencies required to realize those visions and callings which are most compelling to you. Consider, and really try to 100% believe, even if just for a second, that the vision or aspirations you dreamed up above are already reality. What would that situation be like? How would it affect your life and the lives of others? Try to see the face, heart, and future life of one particular, real person who would be affected. What would be the larger impact? What would it be like to live in that world? How badly do you want those changes? How badly do you want to live in that world? (Rate it on a scale of 1-10.)
The Bigger Game is not a model for the faint of heart. But, it is a model for those who want to feel fully alive...and
for those who are truly serious about creating change, about turning
those
statistics around, about being part of the solution. It exists for you if you're
looking for something different, or want to say "No" to a
"business as usual" career/life, while experiencing yourself at your very
best. It's for you if you want to see yourself evolving intentionally to new heights
while doing something extremely meaningful with your life.
One area we explore once someone has identified a potential Bigger Game is:
Now we've reached the heart of the model. The fundamental premise (or "mantra") of The Bigger
Game Model is captured in the following statement:
The size and quality of the game you play [in your life]
designs who you
are becoming [as a person].
What does this mean?
Can you think of times in your life
when something of this nature happened to you? An event or experience that
changed you forever? How did it shape you? Who did you become? How did
it impact those around you? How has the following statement been true for
you?
The size and quality of the game you played
designed who you became.
Would you like to take control of who you become in the future, and the impact you have in the world? Instead of waiting for life to design you with the unpredictable circumstances it will inevitably throw at you, do you want to design, with consciousness and intentionality, your own Bigger Games? Taking control of this process allows us to participate creatively in our personal evolution and social impact. To take control of this process, however, we must first understand it fully. We do that by breaking the process down into its key conceptual components.
The Bigger Game Model
Comfort
Zone |
Hunger |
Higher Purpose/ |
Sustainability |
The
size and quality of the game you play designs who you are becoming. |
G U L P |
Allies |
Bold
Action |
Investment |
Although
we'll separate them out for the sake of explanation, the 9 components actually
overlap in an inseparable way; they are intimately interrelated, each
component affecting the others. You'll notice
that the Bigger Game mantra is in the center square. As
you play your Bigger Game, new learning will occur and a new "you"
will be called forth. You will evolve yourself by building the new competencies required to achieve your Bigger Game.
Next, let's explore the remaining
eight elements of The Bigger Game Model:
q
Comfort Zones
Human beings seek comfort.
It's our natural tendency. Most people return
repeatedly to what is familiar, falling into comfortable (and often unconscious)
habits. Over time, these routine ways of living actually
create complacency and boredom. So, ironically, our
natural tendency toward comfort actually brings us a certain discomfort, along
with stagnation or even decay of our personal evolution. The
Bigger Game Model examines what our particular comfort zones are, and the
cost/benefit of each with respect to who we want to become and the impact
we want to have with our lives. Next, we identify how
to step out of the comfort zones that stand between who we are today and who
we need to become to realize our Bigger Game. That
is, we actually choose discomfort(Gulp!) for the sake of our Bigger
Game and who we aspire to become.
q Hunger
For most of us, boredom and complacency over
time creates a "hunger." Although we may
not know what we are hungry for, we notice a yearning for something more or
something different. Sometimes, this hunger is for
deeper meaning and purpose in one's life. Other times,
it may be expressing a desire to contribute and make a difference in the world.
"Hunger" is a good thing: It means one is awake to the possibility
of something more than simply existing. Once one taps
into their hunger, new action is required in order to satiate the hunger (to
"be fed"). Contemplating these new actions
is, usually, when we first experience the uncomfortable "GULP." This is where most of us stop. Things start to feel difficult, scary,
or otherwise uncomfortable, and who wants that? As our human
tendency toward comfort kicks in, it is natural for us to suppress or
distract ourselves from our Hunger by (usually unawarely) slipping back
into the familiar safety of our Comfort Zones.
q
Higher
Purpose/Compelling Vision
The bottom line is that, "it’s
not about you." Here's
why: We have found that people who are serving a purpose "greater than
themselves" tend to have fuller, richer and more satisfying
lives. Further, in service of a Compelling Vision or Higher
Purpose, you are at your most powerful: Like a mother bear protecting
her cub, you get to experience yourself extending yourself beyond your
perceived or normal limits. Finally, humans don't change without a good enough reason. Without a Vision or Purpose that gives you a good enough reason, our natural human tendency toward comfort and ease will define our life for us.
What sort of life do you imagine a
person would have if they were to remain "asleep" in their Comfort
Zones? If you're still reading, you know you don't want that
life. So, what you're looking for, then, is a good enough reason that will pull you out of your Comfort Zones, growing you and the world in the process.
Some recognize an element of the spiritual
in this--that which is best and highest in human capability and endeavor.
It can be experienced as "a calling" or "the reason I’m here."
It is a Purpose that yearns to be articulated and made manifest, for
the sake of the greater good. It's the spirit of something that wants to happen acting through you.
q
GULP
As
mentioned above, when we contemplate actions to satiate our Hunger, we start
to feel unpleasant things: Our palms get sweaty and maybe we even hear an
inner voice exclaiming, "Who me?" "I don’t know how!" "This is
too big!" "I’m not capable of this!"
"It will be too hard!" "I'll surely fail!"
You have entered into the GULP. If you know
how to play the "game" you are up to, it's probably still a wonderful game to play, yet it is not a "Bigger
Game" as we're defining it here. A Bigger Game will require you develop competencies,
skills and abilities that you don’t already possess in order to take actions
that you couldn’t before. For most of us, even the thought of attempting something beyond what we're currently capable of makes us uneasy.
In The Bigger Game model, however, it's a signpost that you're on the right course when you feel bodily sensations of GULP--an
actual visceral resistance. In fact, this is a requirement in order for your game to qualify as a Bigger
Game. Now, however, the stakes
are higher: You have a Hunger. You’ve
recognized yourself as a leader with a Higher Purpose or a Vision that Compels you. You’ve
chosen to take new, bold, and uncomfortable actions for the sake of your own
growth and the impact your Bigger Game will have in the world.
Please take a moment here.... What would it take for you to choose to step through the GULPs and fears, to stretch boldly outside your Comfort Zone? What matters that much to you? What would be a good enough reason
to leave behind "who you used to be" for the sake of "who you could
become?" For the sake of the Higher Purpose or Compelling Vision
that you so Hunger to see realized? Feel that GULP?
q
Bold
Action
The operative word here is BOLD.
This means taking those uncomfortable, GULP-y actions. It
means courageously extending further into one's human potential than ever
before, possibly further than you even believed you were capable. What action would be the biggest stretch for you, right now? (Any GULP?)
Martin Luther King was not shy in asking for
people to march. Notice the impact of his Bold Action.
Bold actions create visibility for our Bigger Games,
and announce that one is committed, irrevocably, to the path ahead no matter
what. Bold Actions also charismatically enroll others, demonstrating
visibly that we’re serious, that this can and must happen, and that we are
doing whatever it takes to ensure that it does. By
taking Bold Actions, the world around you knows that you’re up to something
BIG. Your playing small does not serve the world, nor yourself.
q
Investment
Since this Bigger Game is larger than I am,
who am I required to become to achieve my Higher Purpose? If this Game is "not about me," what
needs to happen for me to be able to create my Vision most powerfully?
There are many dimensions to the Investment
square. These
may include time, money, energy, faith, determination, support from
others, and taking better care of oneself. Your Game my require
you to Invest in taking classes, getting trained or otherwise
developing new skills and competencies (eg, public speaking,
fundraising, risk taking, public relations/marketing, asking
for/receiving help, navigating failure, emotional healing work, personal growth work, self nurturing, etc). The Investment list could be long and
will unfold as one continues playing their Bigger Game. There
is no "arrival" or "done" when it comes to investing in
one's Bigger Game.
You might start with: What things need to be handled so that I can give my best self fully to my Bigger Game?
(Beware of the Comfort Zone that says, "I can't start my Bigger Game
until...". Stretching beyond that common Comfort Zone may mean making
the Investment of commitment to your Bigger Game today, and getting what you need to get handled, handled as part of
playing your Bigger Game. Said another way, "Making something a
pre-requisite to starting today is most likely a Comfort Zone." Again,
Comfort Zones are neither good, nor bad, they're just unconscious
patterns that will run our lives if we're not honest and vigilant.
Here's a potentially illuminating
exercise:
Think about your Higher Purpose, about the community or world you
really
want to live in. Think about some of the beautiful and precious
hearts, souls, critters, trees, and/or other lives that will be
touched by your Bigger Game. Envision and do your best to really feel
the impact on one of these lives in particular. How important is the
impact your successful Game will have on that individual? How badly
do you want this? How badly do you want to live in that world? [Rate
it on a scale of 1-10.]
Now,
ask yourself: "Given that this is a <insert number> out of 10 in
importance to me, does that motivate me to get <insert your
pre-requisites to starting your Bigger Game> done with greater
urgency and passion than before?" If so, what's the specific
Investment you
need to make in integrity, in order to honor how important this cause
is to you? If this exercise doesn't motivate you to Invest in that
Game, with neither blame nor judgment, let that cause go: It's not a good enough reason
for you right now. Going through this process several times is quite
common. It's a trial-and-error kind of thing. Keep looking, though!)
Another key Investment to make early on in playing a Bigger Game is "to announce your Bigger Game out loud--over and over again--every day." Bigger Game players speak their game to themselves in the mirror, their pets, their friends, allies, strangers, and to anyone who is drawn in by their passion and exuberance. The world can neither respond nor support your Bigger Game unless it is made public. Further, you need to hear yourself say it. By declaring your Bigger Game publicly, you are making your commitment so strong and visible that there is no going back. (GULP!)
q
Allies
Allies
are both the people who are wildly supportive of your Game, and those who
disagree or resist what you’re doing. You will "design"
your Allies to be the optimal partners toward realizing your Bigger Game (and
you will continue to re-design these relationships as your Bigger Game evolves).
Ideally, your Allies will be honest, yet tough (in a loving way).
They know you well, and see through both self deceptions (ie, your "BS") and your blind spots.
There are different types of Allies:
First, you need a Bigger Game coach (a coach who’s been specifically
trained in coaching The Bigger Game Model). Additional
members of your team may include trainers, mentors, cheerleaders, champions,
expert resources, co-players, investors, and administrative Allies. "Nay-sayers"
can be Allies if they inspire you to prove them wrong. "Enemies"
can be Allies by making you think strategically and even requiring you to
"go to battle" for the sake of your Bigger Game.
All our Allies are important.
Perhaps most important of all, however, are those Allies who commit
to come in and find us when we are overwhelmed by it all, when we get scared by the GULP or disappear
into our old habits and Comfort Zones, when we lose faith in our ourselves
or our Game. What
we're doing is not easy, after all. It is predictable that anyone who's
playing a truly Big Game in their life will "stumble" several times
along the way. Still, this is the path of greatness
for a Higher Purpose that we want passionately. In service of this
truly Compelling
Vision, we train these "Come In and Get Me" Allies to not allow us to hide or lie to ourselves. These Allies keep giving us honest feedback, even if it’s at times painful. They
keep asking us, gently, but firmly: "What are you avoiding?" "What are you not
telling me?" "How are you playing small?" "What are you
unwilling to say 'No' to?" "What does your Game need from you right now?"
q
Sustainability
Are
you feeling a bit tired or overwhelmed? Does all this sound like "too much"
for an already busy life? That's not what this is about. If you burn yourself
out, everyone loses and your Game fails. Further, if you become too central
to your Game, how can it live beyond you? Remember, even while it is, this Game, in the largest sense,
is not about you. It's about your calling, your Higher Purpose, your Compelling
Vision. It's about creating some portion of a world that would not be as satisfying to live in were your Bigger
Game not a reality. As such, Sustainability of your Game is of paramount
importance.
Sustaining your game for the long-term happens
at two levels: personal Sustainability and Sustainability of the Game (ie,
creating a legacy).
Personal Sustainability: Living
a balanced life is crucial to playing this game. Since
you will be challenged and stretched by your Bigger Game, it is imperative
that you take exceptional care of yourself in order for your Game to be Sustainable.
Playing bigger does not imply over-working to the point of exhaustion
and/or resentment. Recognizing that over-dedication (ie,
"being a martyr or sacrificial lamb") can itself be a Comfort Zone, we strive
for a healthy life balance so as not to become a zealot, or a slave to our
Bigger Game. Burning ourselves out actually hurts our
Bigger Game.
What needs attention along the way?
Family, spouse, children, house, hygiene, friends, vacation, finances, "down time," fun and recreation, emotional healing, time in nature, time for reflection?
What else? What needs to be
cleared up or dealt with for us to play our Bigger Game so that it doesn't get blind
sided or derailed along the way?
Legacy: For
your game to sustain itself beyond you requires a consciousness in designing
your Game. What needs to happen so that if you were to leave your Game
for some circumstance of life, the Game would continue--both for short term
interruptions, and when you leave the game for good? This is the idea of legacy:
"This Game will go on without me." This is
not an ego-based model. Notice that the Game Martin
Luther King played has continued for years beyond his death.
What needs to be put in place so that what
you’ve initiated will survive and thrive, whether you remain involved or not?
Allies can be crucial for our personal Sustainability, as well as for building a legacy. We train our Allies to check in on us periodically, and tell us to take a vacation, tend to our relationships, or whatever, as needed. Allies can also used as a yardstick to help us measure our Bigger Game’s forward progress, and to keep us in check vis-à-vis having the game become unsustainably centered around ourselves.
The Bigger Game Model:
Example
In 1960, President John F. Kennedy declared
to the world that the US would have a man on the moon by the end of the decade.
Making
that declaration and committing an entire nation to this Vision was
both a Bold Action and an Investment. At that time, the technology did
not exist to make this happen.
Scientists and engineers did not know how to achieve this amazing feat.
And yet, we did it. One could surmise the Comfort Zones that had to be overcome. There was a huge Hunger to be the first in the world to accomplish this project.
The Higher Purpose was about demonstrating "world
leadership" and taking a "giant leap for mankind." There were several huge GULP’s
as well. (There was no certainty regarding how to get
a man to the moon and back safely.) Massive Investments
were instantly made of time, money and resources. Bold Action showed up by taking huge aeronautical and engineering risks. Of course, one person could not have accomplished this task --thousands
of Allies were created along the way, the taxpayers included.
Interestingly, Russia was actually a huge competitive Ally for JFK
by racing us to the moon. It was a Game that demanded
that people take care of themselves in sustainable ways throughout. It was also consciously designed such that
our nation’s space program has been Sustained to this day.
Finally, this example demonstrates the mantra of Bigger Game Model:
"The size and the quality of the game you play designs who you are becoming."
Major discoveries, skills, competencies and leadership were called
forth for our nation by the naming and playing of this Bigger Game by President
Kennedy.
The Call: Take a look into your own life and your own
organization
What are the games that you are currently
playing? What Bigger Games do you want
to be playing? For the sake of growing, learning and evolving yourself?
For the sake of making a lasting impression on your world or organization,
in a way that makes an important and measurable difference? What would be
the best
use of you? You may not have the answers to these questions yet,
nor the "how". What we'd like to know is if you have the Hunger?
What would our world/society/organizations/communities/workgroups
be like if we didn't wait around for the "powers that be"... but, instead,
each of us stepped powerfully into his/her own leader, to both become and
create the positive change we
desire most deeply? The Bigger Game model was created to give you a vehicle
to do just that. If you have the Hunger for a richer and more meaningful
life--and a better world--we have a step-by-step method to take you there.
Are you game?
Rich's current Bigger Games are:
I have spent over two years working with Laura Whitworth (co- founder of "The
Coaches Training Institute," the "Co-Active Space Leadership" program, and author of the book Co-Active Coaching)
and a select group of fellow coaches to test, refine and live the "The Bigger Game" model.
The model is now mature, and I am currently working on the book, as a ghost-writer
for Laura...as well as some Train the Trainer materials to disseminate the information to those who will provide workshops for both Bigger Game coaches and leaders. I coach using this model for those who request it, and soon hope
to be training other coaches and leaders in "The Bigger Game."
Please call to learn more about this exciting new way of living, leading, and changing the world!
Please see www.thebiggergame.com for information on The Bigger Game Company and their upcoming training and development workshops.
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Rich Raffals ~ Awaken The Magic Coaching
& Consulting
Committed to Your Success
415-295-7267 /