I've logged your preference that we have no rules about anyone new coming to any circle...but that having them just chat with me first is probably the best happy medium to satisfy those who find new people threatening initially.  I have noticed that when we have someone new, that the level of intimacy in the circle is reduced a notch until everyone feels completely comfortable and "safe" again.  I don't know you well enough to know if you'd have felt comfortable saying everything you did on Sunday had there been a strange new person there who maybe had never been to anything like that and was putting out a "I'm not so sure about these people and this whole thing" vibe.  <Yeah, I can write run-on sentences with the best of 'em. :-)>.  But, I think that you can imagine that some people wouldn't share some of the more intimate stuff (especially if they were already having a tough time of it and maybe were also low on confidence)...which might have been the real reason they came...and thus, they leave not getting it off their chest and getting the support, attention, prayers, etc. that they needed for whatever it was.  Anyway, as the organizer, I feel compelled to make sure that this safe space is maintained for those people so that the circle allows them to get what they really need.  I, myself, *hate* rules and restrictions, but can see the merit in this one, as decided by consensus of the group and based on past experiences.  I hope you understand.  :-)