I've logged your preference that we have
no rules about anyone new coming to any circle...but that having them just
chat with me first is probably the best happy medium to satisfy those who
find new people threatening initially. I have noticed that when we
have someone new, that the level of intimacy in the circle is reduced a notch
until everyone feels completely comfortable and "safe" again. I don't
know you well enough to know if you'd have felt comfortable saying everything
you did on Sunday had there been a strange new person there who maybe had
never been to anything like that and was putting out a "I'm not so sure
about these people and this whole thing" vibe. <Yeah, I can write
run-on sentences with the best of 'em. :-)>. But, I think that you
can imagine that some people wouldn't share some of the more intimate stuff
(especially if they were already having a tough time of it and maybe were
also low on confidence)...which might have been the real reason they came...and
thus, they leave not getting it off their chest and getting the support,
attention, prayers, etc. that they needed for whatever it was. Anyway,
as the organizer, I feel compelled to make sure that this safe space is maintained
for those people so that the circle allows them to get what they really need.
I, myself, *hate* rules and restrictions, but can see the merit in this one,
as decided by consensus of the group and based on past experiences.
I hope you understand. :-)