"It's our responsibility to teach others how to love us." ~ Judith Raffals Artoux
[ This was my aunt's response to my questions to her on her death bed, "What's the most important thing you've learned in your life? What wisdom do you want me to keep alive for you?" I've spent years contemplating and integrating the implications of her words. One of those is that if someone doesn't treat me the way I want or feel I need, then that's on me for not effectively teaching them how to love me. The first step, then, is to own this and forgive them. Then, probably using something like NVC (Non-Violent Communicaton), I can go back from a non-reactive place, and inform them on what I want/need in this particular situation, etc. and the relationship can actually evolve (rather than stagnate or be damaged by lingering bitterness/resentment borne from my blaming them for my upset). ]
MORE FORGIVENESS, RELATIONSHIP, & SELF-HEALING RESOURCES:
PS: Some of you know that I had to forgive my aunt to even call her. (To be honest, it took me a couple weeks and some coaching to get there.) Had I not gotten to forgiveness with her, however, we'd not have had this conversation, exchanged further emails about it, nor would this be here for you to read. What gifts await you and your community on the other side of forgiveness...?