When a friend asked me what I wanted to receive for my birthday, I was overjoyed by the question, as it gave me a space to bring much of what you're seeing here and on the previous page together.  I decided that it was worth putting some of my precious and limited time and energy toward communicating what you find here, with the hope that these efforts will be valued and reciprocated by those who genuinely care for me and are grateful for the impact that my presence and efforts have...both in their lives and on the planet.  Whether this reciprocation will actually occur--and by whom--I guess, remains to be seen....  :-)  Ok, here's the "Rich" behind the "why" behind the wishlist....

If you know me, I hope you'll agree that it's fair to say that I spend a lot of my personal time and energy helping many, many of people in myriad ways: I do significant volunteer work to empower at-risk youth with new tools for change.  (I teach yoga/meditation, listening skills, peer support, problem solving and leadership/challenge initiatives in two juvenile halls...and I'm currently working to bring coaching into the juvenile hall and probation systems.)  I'm writing a book ("The Bigger Game") to empower/coach the compassionate leader in each of us to step forward and transform the world for the better.  I actively connect people with others I think they'd benefit from meeting (not just networking, but 3 marriages and counting!), resources that I believe would serve them, and cool, fun or growthful activities that I know about.  I regularly evalgelize people's causes, dreams and endeavors and/or promote them and what they're trying to accomplish in life, doing my best to help them be successful.  I spend time composing resource-full emails and invitations, and lists of people whom I think would find said info valuable, and then mail these out, field the questions and feedback that comes back from everyone, etc.  I'm passionate about building community, and I've built and maintain several.  I have also coached, counseled, taught, mentored, assisted, and done healing work for hundreds (yes, literally!) in just about every area of life.

 Finally, I regularly "care for" (not sure how else to put it) many wonderful people in many different ways during some of life's most challenging times.  (If you know me well, you know what I'm talking about...or, maybe I've even helped you through a death, divorce, breakup or other devastating loss, depression, rape, surgery or serious illness/accident, etc.)  For some, I'm the one they turn to when they're in deepest crisis and don't know what else to do or where else to turn.  Although I'm rarely paid or compensated for it, people in crisis regularly tell me that I help them more than anyone (even their therapists) and/or that I'm the *only* one that they want to talk to in the midst of it.  Even if that's not you, today, odds are that I'm supporting at least one person with something of that magnitude (right now, several), even while I'm doing what seems like a small favor for you.  I am glad to do and be all of these things for so many people, feel that it's part of my life purpose, and, in general, enjoy helping whomever I can, however I can--I really do.  Still, all this takes a LOT of time and a LOT of energy....

Often, however, I am surprised to learn (apparently since I'm so helpful to them so often?), that most people think this is all effortless for me and that I don't have needs of my own nor struggle in life myself.   I doubt that *anyone* realizes the sheer number of people that I support or the incredible amount of time and energy this takes.  Usually, I'm sad to say, even the dearest of people seem to disappear (or become so busy with their lives) once they're out of crisis (nor, for obvious reaons, do they even *want* to remember those painful, critical times), that I receive little more than a quick "Thank You" for the many (often many, many) hours and energy units I expend on their behalf.

(Few realize, I think, that I expend this time and energy both while I'm with them as well as while I'm not with them yet continuing to think about them and what might help, researching or discussing their situation with others, or even using my own personal meditation, coaching or counseling sessions to clear negative energy I might have absorbed from the situation and/or gain clarity on how to best support the people who are struggling, etc...and, after all that, the time and care I put into the actual supportive actions or communications that I perform [often completely "behind the scenes"] on behalf of that person, which may be you.  If you're sounding tired just reading all that, maybe you can imagine what it's like for me to live it.  It might look or feel like effortless magic to you, but it's actually a lot of time, energy, and hard work for me...all of which depletes me...even while I do it willingly.  :-)  Doing all this altruistically and without expectation of reciprocation is fine in my mind..but it's not always fine in my body and heart, as I seem to long to feel appreciated for all that I do, and need to have the energy come back to me in a form I can use it [especially when I'm struggling or in crisis myself]...which, I think, is what I'm trying to communicate here.)

Even when people do get some sense of how draining this work is for me (and/or how seldom I'm paid or otherwise compensated for most of it), and they want to reciprocate the time and energy, or otherwise express their thankfulness by doing or giving me something, they often don't know how to help me or what I'd like to receive.  To compound matters, I have great difficulty not just in asking for what I need, but also in receiving those things that would be most beneficial to me.  So I, myself, will downplay what I've done, hide what I need, and become charismatically elusive, in an attempt to escape my own discomfort in the face of someone else's expression of gratitude or doing for me in return.  (It's difficult, too, it seems, for me to even think clearly about these things.)

Since I am challenged (both in this area and often with life too), and since my time and energy is limited, and since there are way, way more people that I *could* help or care for than my human limitations permit, I've had to start putting conscious attention on just where I give and just where I direct my finite stores of energy.  Since, as one of my counselors put it, "There is no shortage of people who need you," and since I do need help too, and since I do have even larger visions for what I'd like to become and accomplish with my life (which includes helping even more beings on the planet), I must now choose to put the majority of my time and energy toward only those people, causes, and relationships from which I receive the most reciprocation.  While this is logically the best approach for all (and obviously leads to my having even more to give or devote to the world and the causes and people I care passionately for), in practice, the actual "doing" of this is, in fact, extremely difficult for me!(**)

 Still, I've hit a (giving overload/receiving deficit) wall in my life, and  this step seems to be required now.  For all the good I have done and am doing for so many, I find myself struggling both energetically and financially, and need help myself--from you--should you be motivated by the genuine gratitude or caring (not from "guilt" or "obligation," please!) to help me now.  I'm writing this to communicate this to you, and to give you the information you require to give or reciprocate to me in a manner that will result in a genuinely positive experiece for me, should you so choose.  (Knowing myself, odds are that I won't tell you otherwise--not directly, anyway. ;-)  Sometimes, too, someone will do something for me or give a very well-meant gift (even spending a lot of money)...yet it will, in reality, actually be a negative experience for me...which is a double whammy since I then typically expend even more energy in attempts to not make them feel badly about this.  (Hey, I didn't say it was healthy, nor that I'm not working on it, but it seems to be a rigid pattern of behavior that I haven't "dissolved" yet.  In the meantime, I'm requesting your help.  :)

(**) This is one important area in which you can support me!  :-)